no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
