but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
