you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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