And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
