There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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