If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
