you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
