I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
