I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
