I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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