I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
