He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
