too bad you live with your parents still
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize