is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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