All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
