it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
