I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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