What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize