And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
