That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
