Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize