I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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