I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Me. At least after what I've been through.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
