i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
