Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
