Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
