Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Randomize
