I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
