Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
