I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
