I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
