a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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