check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
