I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
