I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I have demons in me.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize