i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
