You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
