We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
