lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
