is your mom at the bar?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i believe in u and ur pee
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