She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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