none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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