I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize