oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
