My room smells like vodka and shame
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
