I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
