I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
