I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
