Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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