im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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