Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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