apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
