when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
