the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
