i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
