so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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