hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
