Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
