So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
