Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
