i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
