The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the condom got lost in my hair
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize