OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
