the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I had to cum in my sink.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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