that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
