they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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