why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize