Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I've blown a few things in my day
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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