marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
