That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
