If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize