So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
